Hello there. Just waiting for the crack smoke to clear. No sign of that yet, I’m afraid. Are we happy now, Toronto? After years of calling ourselves a world class city, we are now the world class butt of a joke. I know it’s not our collective fault that our mayor is a sweaty, puffy, snuffly mess of a man, but don’t you sense that the derision being heaped upon us by the rest of the country, let alone Hollywood, is just a little too gleeful?
There is a sense that Toronto is getting its comeuppance. Some wags refer to the city as COO (Centre of Ontario), and everything else as ROO (Rest of Ontario), but it could just as easily apply to the entire country (COC and ROC?) This supposedly clean and polite city, where the streets are swept and the good citizens go to bed early, is, as it turns out, being run by Robbie the Crackhead Clown. Furthermore, he won’t go away, and no one can make him. The situation is just ridiculous, hence the ridicule. Ha ha, says Rest of Canada, not to mention the American late night talk show hosts: it sucks to be you.
Maybe, but maybe not. After all, much like Christie Blatchford points out in her column today, I’m not the one who smoked crack, and I suspect you aren’t either. Furthermore, unless it turns out that Ford stole taxpayers’ money, or committed atrocities while gettin’ hammered, chances are this scandal will do little to tarnish our reputation. In fact, you could argue that it is Toronto’s very tolerance and fair-mindedness that allowed this situation to escalate. After all, in this city, you’re innocent until your blurt out that you’re guilty in a surreal press conference.
Of course, if Ford gets re-elected next year without getting help, we will get what we deserve. Then ROC can feel free to bring it.