I am currently carrying around four different currencies in my wallet, the result of various trips the family and I have taken over the past 6 months, and the fact that I haven’t made it to the bank to exchange them. The other day I was at the liquor store (no, YOU shut up), looking through my wallet for the right credit card, and the (very cute) clerk behind the counter struck up a conversation that went like this:
CLERK: Say, is that a thousand dollar bill you have in there?
ME: This? No no. That’s a Japanese yen. It’s worth about 10 bucks.
CLERK: Why do you have yen?
ME: I have all sorts of yens. Sometimes a yen for ice cream, sometimes a yen for chocolate …
ME: I also have Australian dollars in here. Also Euros.
CLERK: Cool. Again, can I ask why?
ME: You can ask, but I’m afraid I can’t tell you.
ME: Yes. I mean, no. Clearly, I’m an international woman of mystery.
CLERK: Wow. Do you have a license to kill?
ME: Yes I do, as a matter of fact. It’s right here, next to my license to drive.
CLERK: Shaken or stirred?
CLERK: Do you like your martini shaken or stirred?
ME: Oh. Shaken.
(Man behind me in line coughs impatiently)
ME: Do you know why Michael J. Fox makes the best martinis?
CLERK (cautiously): Why?
ME: Because he has the best ingredients. I have to go.
CLERK: You’re killing me.
ME: Yes, well, I have a license. Bye.