Chris Bundas –
I came across an article on Heavy.com this morning that had to do with my favourite place in the world… The beach! Who doesn’t love the feeling of warm sand between your toes, the sound of waves crashing in the distance, seagulls chirping, all while the blistering sun beats its glorious rays down upon your face… Ahhh, Heaven on Earth, found by a body of water.
With summer’s beautiful face peeking around the corner, anyone and everyone within driving distance to a beach will be cramming their sweaty arse’s into a car and heading towards the water. That includes the freaks, the hipsters, and those not fit to leave the house…
Between the beautiful beach bods and all of nature’s wonders, unfortunately, some unpleasant creatures will rear the heads and slide into the mix. If you find yourself baring witness to any of these beach atrocities, do yourself a favor… take sand, and throw it into your eyes…
So, with that said… Epic beach fails! Here are ‘20 Things You Don’t Want to See at the Beach This Summer’!
Look kids! A sewage pipe! What could be more fun to play with than $#!t
I didn’t know Borat set any fashion trends… Just keep walking, right off the dock… and drown, all of you… please!
And then the devil appeared, burnt to hell (literally), and whispered to little Stevie… You’re next!
If the babes won’t come to you… go to the babes! Photo’chop‘ da $#!t outta dem ladies!
Beach monkey’s… interesting! Could have solved that one by staying in North America.
Look! A black cannon shooting $#!t into the water! Let’s go swim out to it!
I love a lady in a two piece bikini as much as the next guy… However, one of these two is not like the other, guess which one?
Are you hitting the beach, or hitting a bank… Pick one and go with it!
Yes we see you have nice boobs… but sorry sweetheart, wearing a bathing suit that looks like something out of Star Trek, trumps your rack… you’ll be laughed at.
I have no words for this one… I don’t even know what to even call this look?
Boats are meant for water… not your camper! Call the lifeguard, we’re gonna have an idiot drowning in 3,2… Actually, forget it… let the bastard drown.
They don’t make the required SPF needed for Irish sun bathing…
Guaranteed, you’ll see at least one family who has no clue how swimming works.
Bet you never thought you’d see a black metal surfer… Welcome to hell my little lambs…
Yup, gramps $#!t his drawers again…
4 hours in the car with your annoying friends, only to arrive finally at the beach and find out the water is what…!!!
Hazmat suits + the beach = you staying at home by the pool
And he’s thinking, “put down the damn camera and take this damn thing off of me!”
Because life vests really aren’t that safe…
No, don’t mind the guy from the 3rd world country, who cares if he drowns…