How many friends do you have? No, not Facebook friends. Actual flesh and blood friends, the kind that would help you move. A body. 15? 10? 3? The number doesn’t matter for the purposes of this discussion. The real question is: how many real friends have you made in the past, say, five years? Chances are, not many, unless you’re young, a new parent, or started work in a super friendly new workplace. It’s hard to make new friends in middle age, largely because the overtures are just so damn awkward. Someone has to care enough to make the first move, and it has to hit just the right note of casual enthusiasm. You can’t appear too needy, intense or psycho. And if you’re on the accepting end of this overture of friendship, you have to gauge the level of commitment required. This person likes you, and you like them, so now what? Are you going to hang out? Go to dinner? Bowling? Involve your partners, if you have them? Is (gulp) sex involved? Because these days, who knows?
I’m not saying it can’t be done. Some people who make new friends every day, everywhere they go. But chances are your friends are ones you made earlier in your life, who have survived the test of time. Or, if you’re that old, just survived.